Stressful Relationships StuffJuly 3, 2018
Hellooo! How’s everything going?
Behind every kinesiology session I do, some how a relationship issue pops up.
Whether it be with a romantic partner, mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, work mate, boss, teacher, friend or child.
It’s always there.
We are an interpersonal race and we rely on relationships with others for our survival from when we are born.
Our first families (the one we are born into or spend the most time with when young) set the scene for relationships. How they are run and how we are treated. AND the ENERGY around these relationships is also set.
(When I say energy, you know what I mean. You can feel the ‘vibe’ that is being sent out from yourself and the other person during difficult times, or maybe even, all the time.)
Whatever is established becomes the ‘normal’ as it’s they only way we know.
Whether all of our NEEDS were met from our first family – either, all, some, half or none – can usually predict how our current relationships are traveling.
Our needs of today are the same as from when we are young. Loving support, kind words, emotional comfort, physical comfort (hugs), encouragement, safety, security, feeling loved, justice. These are basic needs.
In an ideal world it would be great to have all of these needs met from both parents, not just one and even from siblings. (siblings can be harsh!)
Most issues with relationships are about our needs not being met. We aren’t treated the way we want to be. Being respected, being valued, feeling loved etc you know the drill!
The good news is once you acknowledge what boundaries were set up for you when you were young, and what kind of energy was formed around those relationships too, you can go about re-setting your own boundaries and the energy of how you want your current relationships to be.
Even acknowledging what you need is empowering and changes the energy you once had.
Re-setting boundaries can take a few goes as the energy of the relationship needs to change as well.
I’ve put for some ideas together here to help get started with working on Relationships and Energy
Okay, I’m going to make a big statement now.
Our past and present relationships are PROBABLY (actually I think MOST DEFINITELY) the cause of where most of our stress has come from in our lives, because they set up what we believe about ourselves, good and bad. This in turn affects EVERYTHING we do. (I might write a book on this one day!)
As you have probably heard from all self help books, you can’t change others, but you can work on YOURSELF.
The ‘gold’ bit of extra info here from me is, in order for the relationship to change, you must change the energy around yourself and also the energy around the relationship!
Have a great week.